Have you tried to work on issues in your relationship but continue to feel stuck in the same unhealthy cycle? Sometimes our most valued relationships can lose track and we may find ourselves in the repeated negative patterns. We may feel lonely and isolated while not knowing what to do to feel closer to our partner.
Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), your therapist helps you identify the factors contributing to your current cycle, recognize core needs, move away from destructive patterns and restore close connection. EFT is well-recognized as the gold standard for couples therapy leading to long-term results. Through therapy, clients often improve their communication and learn how to express their core needs to each other while working more as a team. We look forward to providing assistance and support in your journey to heal and strengthen your relationship!
Below are a couple of things that you should consider when determining if relational psychotherapy is a good fit for the relationship.
Is everyone committed to starting therapy? In many cases, one partner is invested while the other member may feel forced to attend. This scenario doesn’t provide a stable foundation to start the process of working on your relationship.
Does everyone want to continue working on the relationship? In some cases, one partner has already decided that the relationship is over. When considering couples counseling/relationship therapy, it is important for everyone to be motivated to work on the relationship.
MORE about Emotionally Focused Therapy
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a type of therapy that focuses on helping people develop more secure and intimate bonds with their loved ones, and it has an excellent track record. The culmination of research studies finds that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements through EFT.
EFT was developed to help couples and individuals develop more secure and intimate bonds with each other. This can lead to greater trust and intimacy in relationships, which can help foster greater connection and commitment between partners. One of the key benefits of EFT is that it helps people understand and express their emotions and needs in relationship-enhancing ways. Another benefit of EFT is that it can help improve communication in relationships.
Overall, EFT can be a valuable tool for anyone looking to improve their relationships and develop more secure and fulfilling connections with their loved ones.
How does an EFT therapist work with those in relationships wanting to recover from infidelity?
Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) is a widely respected approach for helping couples recover from infidelity, focusing on strengthening emotional bonds and improving communication. EFT views betrayal as a deep wound to the attachment bond, often leaving the injured partners with intense feelings of abandonment, insecurity, and mistrust. Here’s how EFT therapists generally approach this process:
1. Assessment and Stabilization: Initially, the therapist helps each partner express their emotions and gain stability. They acknowledge the betrayal’s impact, allowing partners to explore the painful feelings and understand the affair's effect on their relationship. This phase helps build a foundation of empathy and validation, essential for healing.
2. Identifying Negative Patterns: EFT therapists identify and disrupt negative interaction patterns, such as blame or withdrawal, which may have contributed to disconnection even before the infidelity. They explore each partner’s emotional responses, examining how these cycles have perpetuated distance or conflict in the relationship.
3. Building Emotional Accessibility and Responsiveness: Once patterns are identified, the therapist guides the couple toward emotional vulnerability, teaching them to communicate with honesty and openness. The partner who was unfaithful takes accountability, expressing remorse and reassurance, while the betrayed partner shares feelings of hurt and insecurity. This step allows both partners to feel seen, heard, and validated, a crucial part of restoring trust.
4. Forgiveness and Rebuilding Attachment: Through continued sessions, the therapist helps the couple rebuild their emotional bond, working toward forgiveness and a stronger connection. EFT emphasizes creating new, secure attachment patterns, where each partner feels safe and supported. This deepened bond reduces the likelihood of repeating old cycles and fosters a renewed commitment to the relationship.
Research shows that EFT can be effective in restoring relationships after infidelity, with its focus on fostering secure attachment and mutual understanding. By engaging in this process, couples often report feeling more resilient and emotionally connected even after such a significant challenge
Being the 'best you can be' is really only possible when you are deeply connected to another. Splendid isolation is for planets, not people.
— Dr. Sue Johnson
Are you ready to invest in a relationship?
We offer a free, 15-minute consultation to learn more about working together.